Delivered from Self-Harm c2-head***

Delivered from Self-Harm

by Allie

One of my cuts - what I think of myself, but not what God says about me.

One of my cuts - what I think of myself, but not what God says about me.

Growing up, I was physically and sexually abused. As a young child (about 6), I began to hurt myself - I would pinch, hit and pull hair. At 8, I began cutting myself and burning myself with lighters from around my house. These behaviors helped me feel in control of a life I truly had no control of. They helped me to deal with the stress that a child should never have.

When I was 20, I accepted Christ as my Saviour and He showed me that this behavior, however helpful for dealing with life, was not what He wanted for me. He wanted me to have freedom, to depend on Him in the hard times, to rest in Him, rather than rest in having control.

For the past 3 years, I have struggled with giving up this behavior. It is truly an addiction for me. Last Friday, I hit a point when I felt that I could no longer carry the burden of cutting. I asked God to heal me, to deliver me, to take away this desire to use cutting to dull the pain. I haven't cut since then. The urges come, but as I pray for release from each one, Abba provides as I need. He even helped me to go to a store and not buy more razors. I was so tempted to buy a pack, but I felt His hand on my shoulder, guiding me past them, and I didn't think twice - I left them on the shelf and bought what I needed, but nothing more. Praise be to God. I look forward to His continuing restoration process, inside and outside!

Comments for Delivered from Self-Harm

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Remove this crap NEW
by: Anonymous


God Vs Mental Illness NEW
by: Anonymous

I think the biggest question in general is someone who says they have found God who they can hear are considered worthy and "better" than others. The alternative is someone having auditory hallucinations (hearing voices) are considered to be seriously mentally ill and quite often prescribed strong medication to "control/cure" them?

But surely both have the same thing - hearing things that don’t exist. At least with mental illness there is organic reasons at times. And as the bible is pretty much all made up stories passed down through 1000+ years before being written it isn’t even true.

Who has the truth? Yes - the mentally ill.

I mean, if I told you a story of a blue man coming from a green planet to tell us all that we all have to have anal sex only, I would be locked up yet this is what religion basically is.

Why?! Pt.2 NEW
by: Anonymous

Also FYI God had nothing to do with my recovery , I have been working hard for myself and my family . So not only has my picture been used by some random person they have attached it to a faith which I have no affiliation with . My belief in God died a long time ago when I realised it was all Bull .

Why ?! NEW
by: Anonymous

This is a picture that I posted a few years ago ... who the hell claims a picture like this to be theirs ? Like that is sick what the hell . I was 14/15 when I took this and I deeply regret that time in my life so I'd appreciate if this was taken down .


That's not only God help you. You yourself became stronger and wiser. You yourself decided to stop a bad habit and cope with it.

Uh huh. NEW
by: Anonymous

Yeah, you spelled failure wrong. That is a failure.

To The Anonymous post above mine
by: Anonymous

I know it's hard to turn to God, when you may not even fully understand who God is at this point. But can I tell you, from what you mentioned (ATTEMPTING overdose previously), God wants you alive! He has a plan for your life...and I know that it is cliche to say that, but it is so true! The devil wants you to feel alone and depressed, we've all been there, but God is right beside you just hoping and waiting for you to call out to Him for help...and He WILL be there for you.

The best advice I can give you, is to find a Christian church and attend youth groups and bible studies; get involved and meet people from the church that will pick you up when you've fallen.
You are loved! God loves you with such an intense and awesome love, and He has great things for your life! I know it's hard to believe sometimes, but it is true.
If you feel like no one else in your life cares, know this: God cares, and I care! I care about you, and your life! Your life is precious!

by: Anonymous

I'm a self harmer as well and although I can stop for short periods of time it's never enough to overcome all the urges- I always give in at some point or another. I'm not a Christian (a friend gave me a link to this page) so the idea of God helping me seems strange and almost frightening. I've been to church before but it never really struck a chord with me. I've always hoped that maybe I would find God at some point in my life but I'm not sure. do you have any advice?

To the last poster - there is hope.
by: Allie (Original Poster)

I'm sorry to learn that you are also dealing with SI as a way to deal with your feelings. There are so many, better ways of working through life than this. I have now been free of SI for almost 4 months. It's an amazing feeling. And you can have it too.

My main advice is find someone professional to help you through this. SI becomes like an addiction and stopping is not easy. But, if you have someone supporting you, teaching you how to use other coping skills instead. This can be a Christian Counselor or other professional to help you.

Relying on God is important, but it takes time and trusting that He won't let you down. Sometimes you have to trust Him in the little things and when you look back you can see how much He was carrying you.

I will be praying for you, friend. There is hope - you can find joy and you can live life without needing to cut.

Im going through this.
by: Anonymous

Im 16,and Ive been harming for about a year and a half now. Its got to the point where Im planning on killing myself,the idea is that,until the date that I have set myself for my departure from this Earth,I shall harm myself (mainly through cutting) as much as possible,so it becomes an easy option to overdose. I have tried to overdose a few times before,and I really dont know where to turn. Who should I turn to? I know most people say turn to the Lord but I am only just beginning to open myself up to the concept of Him being able to help me,as I have only recently began exploring my faith. Is there any way that I can find help?

by: Pat

Hi Allie
What an awesome Testimony for sure and the boldness to share is a wonderful thing as I agree with Ameerah God surely will use you to help so many others who are caught up and cannot get free,Jesus Christ makes all the difference.Thanks Allie for sharing and giving us encouragement that God can and will bring us freedom from our additions.Wow

Love in Christ
Pat Thacker 2-13-09

Praise God for His Mercy!
by: Ameerah

Thank you so much for sharing this story.

There are so many who silently struggle with this, an no one knows the pain and torment that they feel.

I believe in my heart that having your Christian testimony to read when they are trying to gain the strength to go to God with this will be a source of strength for them. Sometimes, it just takes knowing that God is helping someone else to begin to believe that He will help us too.

Thank you so much.

God Bless!
Ameerah Lewis
Founder of Hem of His Garment Bible Studies

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