Hello, c2-head***


by India
(Seattle, WA)

Picture by Master Isolated Images

Picture by Master Isolated Images

My name Is India and I am 24 years old. I am from Tennessee and I am currently In WA State. I haven’t had the best of life. As a child, I was taken from my mother because of abuse and placed In 48 some homes. Eventually I was placed In a Baptist home for a couple of years and I graduated high school from there then I attended some college.

I moved to WA State due to drug use and me falling into depression. Washington was supposed to be me starting over. Unfortunaly, I have had the roughest time here.

I was hit by a car in 2010 outside of a club, broke all my ribs on my right side, and broke my sternum. I figured at that time in my life God was telling me slow down he has a better plan for me and at that time I had been praying for God to help to be strong to not be friends with a girl who was not good for my life. so in result to that this happen. I’ve been here for 3 years. In this time I have had people steal from me, hit by a car, and had an abortion, (which I never ever believed In doing that) (and just so happen that Jan 9 2009 I had my abortion and Jan 9 2010 I was hit by a car and I feel like God has cursed me like I’m not ever going to be happy).

After my accident I got back on track I was In my word I quit smoking stop worrying about someone loving me (as far as relationship goes) and I was happy. I meet my boyfriend In May 2010 and we have been together for 1 year.

Normally when I meet guys, they were at clubs. I meet him at a park and since then I have been threw alot. He has cheated on me the whole time with the same girl. We have been in fights. I really do love him and I want to spend my life with
him but I wanna trust him. And I can’t and I’m driving myself crazy over it. He is good to me. But when he cheats, I get so angry that I'll push him and it goes from there. I know I’m not this angry person. I just feel like I just wanna be loved and he shows me that but he cheats so I’m angry.

I haven’t dealt with my abortion or my accident I still cry I really don’t like to leave my house like that I get peranode. It’s crazy because God gave me a gift to sing and play the piano and flute. But I’m scared to sing and play In front of people. I be seeing myself singing In front of people giving my story but I don’t know what’s holding me back. (I feel like God doesn’t hear me anymore (but I always tell him don’t give up on me)

I finally just got the courage to play at my church and I have been for a year. I guess my question is how do I get rid of this hurt and anger and be happy. And live the life I want to. And how do I know if my boyfriend is the one for me.

Like I said he is everything I want but the cheating (which he currently did stop but only for like a month), (he made a big step and started coming to church and stuff) my hurt I feel now has turned into anger. I just want to get back on track and be where God wants me to be. and get to know God more and experience that joy and happiness.

One thing I did do was join a r&b group and gospel group. So I can use my gift. I know I’m probably all over the place. But my mind is to. I want to have peace and joy. I wanna live life. I don’t want to be sad or angry or depressed. I don’t wanna struggle no more with my bills or stressing out.

I am to young someone help.

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God Loves You India!
by: Aneerah

Hi India,

Ameerah here from The Hem Bible Studies.

I am sorry that you feel like your life has just been one trial after another. But, God is not the author of your pain - Please know that. He loves you and He wants you - ALL of you. Not just the parts of you that you want to hand over, but every part of your life.

Many times we think that God wants us to give our lives over to Him and live holy because He's trying to get something from us. We feel like if we truly follow Him, our lives will be boring and lonely. We feel that way because that is how Satan wants us to feel. We believe the lies that the enemy tells us more than the Truth of God. In fact, God is Love and the Bible says that love is not self-seeking. Everything that God wants from us is not for His benefit, it is for ours. He knows how we are made, and what things will build us up and what things will tear us a part. When we live lives that are outside of God's will for us, we are literally opening the door for the devil to rip us to shreds. Then, we begin to blame God for the things that we are allowing the enemy into our life to do. And, since we think it is God who is beating up on is, it drives us even further away from Him as we become more confused as to whether or not He loves us at all.

God has NOT given up on you, but you can't give up on Him either or on yourself. Have you listened to our free VIP series How to Connect with God we offer here on the website? I really want you to make the time to listen to the entire series. You don't have to do it all in one day, but make a commitment to seek hard after God. He is the only one Who can turn your life around, but He can only do that if you TRULY surrender it to Him.

As for your boyfriend, like someone else has already shared with you, I believe God has better in store for you. Sometimes it is tempting to settle for someone who does not really love us simply because we are so hungry for love. But, someone already does love you - Your Heavenly Father Loves You More Than You Can Fathom. Satan wants to convince you that God hates you, but that is the biggest lie in the world! He loves you! So you don't have to hunger for love any more - You already have it.

Here is the definition/standard of true love, as it is given in the Bible. Compare his ACTIONS and ask yourself if he truly loves you:
*Love is patient.
*Love is kind.
*It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
*It does not dishonor others,
*it is not self-seeking,
*it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
*Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
*It always protects, always trusts, always helps, always perseveres.
*Love never fails.

God is your Friend
by: Rita

Your answer to free from anger and hurt and be

happy is found in " if you are willing to

occupy your time to know more about God and who

is Jesus Christ everyday " - HE IS ALIVE -.

You can have Him to be your most trusted friend

to direct your step and all that you need.

He will give you your desire.

Pls read John 14:18-19 - God Love You India

from Rita

Peace and Grace
by: Preacher

I can't advise you concerning your bills, but as for your boyfriend..., if he is cheating on you now before marriage, do you think you could trust him after marriage? There are still guys in the world who are one woman men; look for that in a man, and if that man isn't a born again Christian, keep looking. You deserve more than someone cheating.
As for depression and confusion; God is not the author of confusion, Satan is. Just like Satan is the father of depression. Anything that keeps your mind and heart away from God is of Satan.
Jesus said, "My PEACE I leave with you, not as the WORLD gives you peace..." Hang in there, His Grace is sufficient for you.

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