Marriage

I have been married for almost 11 years. I am at a crossroad with my husband. He seems to be ever changing, I look at him now and really do not know him anymore. We have two small children and his attitude with them is also sour. They say he is grouchy. He yells when they do anything. I have tried to talk to him, he just gets very agitated and annoyed at me. I have taken him to have Neuro-Cognitive testing done on him, and nothing came up. They said maybe depression. I have taken him to several doctors to try and track the changes, all say it is really nothing. One did say she thought there might be ADD, but even she could not get a diagnosis. This has been going on for about 8 years now. And changing more everyday.

I am a Christian, and I found out that he is not. This concerned me greatly because when we were dating I ask him point blank if he was saved and a Christian and he said yes. Now it is a no.

My question is, how do I go on? The atmosphere of our home is rough. I try to keep the peace,yet when he yells at the kids, rather than using a normal tone, it makes me mad. I do not feel like my responsibility to my children is to let them be yelled at by their Father. I feel this is doing damage to their self-images. They are both very independent. He rarely has a kind word. I ask him to please seek some help. He has yet to do it and that has been a month ago.

What I fight with is the fact that God hates divorce. But how am I to raise my children in a loving home where I feel they are not treated right? He shows little interest in them, they have adapted to show him little respect, this hurts my heart. He goes to work, takes the trash out and mows the grass. That is it. Everything else is left up to me. God has, through this showed me more of Himself to me and proven to me I am a strong woman.

I am just concerned about my children. I came up in a loving home where my parents loved us, each other, and the Lord. I just hate I can not reproduce that for my own kids.

Sorry for chatting on for so long, I just do not know whether to stay or go. I have been praying for God's will to be done, and I wait. My thought are, when the storms of the home are brewing, is this God saying get out or Him saying see how you can last through these? He is my only refuge! I really do not know where I would be if it was not for my Lord. I just wish my husband could see Him like I do. I want my life to be all His, and to do His will, I am just confused about what to do now.

Thanks so much for your time. May God bless you.

Finances and marriage

by mrs.b
(california)

I have 2 questions. 1 is about finances, the other about something my husband is doing.

The first is I received a letter from a bank saying that I qualify for a $6ooo.00 loan. My husband has not worked in 3 years and does the minimum to help me. We are 3 months behind in rent and I have about 800.00 worth of credit card debt. I am able to pay my rent and I have been making payments on the back rent. We recently received a 3 day notice from the owner of our building.

The bible says owe no man nothing except the love of God.I have a christian friend who said that I am always on time with my payments, this is God's way of helping you out of that situation. What do I do? I am only concerned with what God says is right and I want to do His will.

Now the second question is about my husband. He is friends with his ex-wife (I am wife #3, this is my first marriage).They flirt with each other. I found pictures of her clothed behind on his cell phone. He goes to visit he says his children in another town once a month and stays in her house even though I have expressed to him that i don't approve of this and he even tried to keep it a secret til I asked him directly. His children are disrespectful to me and my children and he says nothing. She told me that she has a jezebel spirit and her sister told me that they had employed witchcraft tactics to keep him under her thumb forever. He has not worked in 3 years and uses his G.R. check to go to visit them in this other town. He says that he loves me and that he is not having an affair and she does have a boyfriend however she does not care what he says or thinks. They text message each other everyday faithfully although he erases her replies so I can't read them.I can't even get an email once a month from him. he does not text me to tell me anything. 2 days after valentines day he wrote to her and their children "when i love i love strong that's why i love you guys so much". I am hurt embarrassed and humiliated. He does not do bible studies with me or my children. Does not go to church anymore. Has not prayed with us in i don't know how long. I and 1 of my friends are on a 3 day fast that the Lord called us to go on together to break down hindering spirits and strongholds on our family and finances.I have stood on the word and prayed and am fasting. I am doing all I know to do. What now? What should I do? We started on a foundation of the word. He was not like this when we met. He seems to be backsliding into an apostate state and other than what I have done and am doing i dont know what else to do or what to think.

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