Testimony: Fighting for my life

by Micheal Rose
(Barrie ON Canada)

Im not sure if this is the way to tell this or not , but here I go.

My fight started a while ago and still continues today, I met my wife 23 years ago in a group called Katimavik(Inuit word for meeting place)I saw her in the back yard of the house we were staying in, and said to myself "yes she is the one".

Anyways we went through this program together and never really knew that we were meant for each other untill about a year or so after we had left the program.I called her up out of the blue one day and we started to talk and one thing lead to another and we eventually got together and then married.

We both played with drugs and alcohol me more then my wife, and never had a thought for GOD. except for when people would try and talk to us about it.
We were married for about 2 years then the bad part happened seperated and then divorced for about 2 and half years.

I guess maybe I should tell you about my personal life a little before I go to far, have done alot of drugs, alcohol, grand theft, dealing drugs, even planned a bank heist and went as far as stealing the guns for the job(from a friend).
Everyone was caught before anything happened, which was now I think was a blessing for GOD.

Even tho I did not know the Lord he was with me, I was swimming with my friends one day and decided to dive, well i hit the bottom of the lake and was paralized from the neck down, and imediately thought "I going to die" but I broke the top of the water and the feeling to my body came back. Went home and walked around with my neck bent over for about 3 weeks.

Shortly after I was joying riding in a stolen truck with some friends, I was driving, we then hit a tree head on at 60 miles an hour. I took the steering wheel in the chest ,one friend though the windshield,another got the side window, WE ALL WALKED AWAY.
I have had guns pulled on me and no shots to be fired,thank the Lord.
Had some physical abuse in my my life as well as verbal, had many friends killed horribly some from suicide.Folks I have had a messed up life!

Anyhow to speed it up a little, I was having dinner with my girl friend and all of a sudden I said, Im going to Toronto to see my kids, 2 sons at the time.
My ex wife had met to nice people in T.O. that invited her to church and she aceppeted the Lords grace.
They then started a prayer chain prior to me coming up , my wife and I talked about reconciliation, we were then married again by Gods good grace.(LET MAN NOT BRAKE WHAT THE LORD HAS MADE), GOD has blessed us with 3 sons now, and you think that would be the end of my story, but sorry brothers and sisters its not.

Things went well for awhile something happened again that almost completely destroyed us, sorry but will not go into details about that. But again the Lord saved our marriage.
I used to think how could anyone get so depresed that they would try to take their life especially a christian, well I got hit with depression and have been a christian for 22 years now and it got to the point where i tried this year to take my own life, and again the Lord was there. I took enough of my medication to drop a team of horses after I had a fight with my youngest son and thern went for my last coffee at Tim hortons, as i sat there waiting for the moment to happen, i believe the Lorde spoke to me and I knew then I had to get help so I mad my way home and then spent the next 3 days with my family wondering if I was gonna live.God showed me that it wasnt going to hurt me but eveyone else
But GODS good grace again saved me.

I love the Lord very much but unfortunately I am again struggleing with thses horrid thoughts of unworthyness for my family and God and wonder If it might be better just to leave, but the Lord keeps sending my a life raft.

Anyways thats a big part of my story and I know we will prevail againest the Evil ones constant berage of problems he heaps on me and my family.

As a crhistain I will always fight for my life but with the Lord on my side "I WILL NOT LOSE"

I am sorry this was so long but I hope someone will find some help in it some where, be it if you hooked on drugs theft ,going through divorce or dealing with depression.

God bless and thank you for letting me ramble on.