Who should I marry?
I am a 35 year old Christian virgin currently deployed to Kuwait. I have a 28 year old girlfriend at home who wants to marry me, however I am almost entirley not interested in her in that way. I need a friend, I need someone to help me take care of my dog and place while I am involuntary deployed. I told her this and this was the original intent and deal when I asked her if she would like to rent my place while I am deployed. She now is in love with me and I am not in love with her. I love her as a friend and don't see myself specifically marrying her. I may consider marriage in the future, but, I would like to be in love with the person I marry, be strongly physically attracted to her or at least have strong romantic feelings for her. She is not a virgin and it is an incredibly huge turn off. I feel pressured to have sex with her as she brings it up, especially when I came back on leave. I told her when I first met her that I am looking for a virgin to marry and have never been able to work out a romantic relationship with nonvirgins inspite of trying multiple times. I am always pressured into having sex or having that held against me, while feeling that I have been cheated out of something God created for me to be passionately attracted to. I am not physically attracted to her as we not only have differences in our sexual views, but, plain and simple, I am not attracted to her physical attributes. She is clinically obese and I find that unattractive. Perhaps that is shallow, but, is physical attraction part of God's gift of sexuality or should I marry in spite of being unattracted to her?