I am a young single mother with a child. I was in a relationship with what I thought was a good christian man for about 3-4 years and I just recently found out that he was cheating on me with another girl he met at his workplace. I have been absolutely devastated and am suffering depression and low self esteem. I have been terrified that being a single mother I won't find a christian man willing to marry me.
To the point, well I had been considering getting liposuction done around my neck and jaws as it was an area of my face that I was very self conscious about. I had booked a date to do it and then cancelled it because I felt like God didn't want me to do it. But since having my boyfriend cheat on me I rushed into getting it done, despite having a lack of peace about it.
My problem is that I am very happy with the result and feel a lot more confident about myself. But now I am afraid that God cannot forgive me since I rationalised my mind into ignoring the bad feelings and got the procedure done knowing that God probably didn't approve. I can't really say that I regret getting the liposuction done, because I felt so bad about myself before. Will I ever be able to be rid of this stronghold of vanity over my life. How can I be truly repentant since I cannot get the procedure reversed? Please advise me on this, I am really struggling with the guilt and wrestling with this desire to attract a future husband. I know my priorities are all wrong, but how do I change my heart?