by LaWanda D. Cook
(Glen Burnie, Md USA)
God making Eve from Adam
One in Spirit: What it Means To be a Christian Wife
"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." (Proverbs 14:1)
As Christian wives, we probably believe that we are incapable of plucking or tearing down our homes. We immediately want to believe that we are the women of wisdom that's mentioned in the first part of this scripture as opposed to the foolish one mentioned in the latter part. However, without realizing it, most of us fall into the foolish category.
That may be a hard pill to swallow, but the statement is true in most cases. This isn't because of immaturity, selfishness or wrongful intent; but mainly because of the lack of knowledge.
As Christian wives that attend church on a regular basis, we all want to believe that we are the epitome of what a Christian wife is supposed to be. We think that if we can master cooking, cleaning and ministering to our husbands' physical needs, then we have mastered wifehood.
Being the Christian wife that God intended requires so much more. Of course, all of the characteristics mentioned previously are important, but accepting the mantle of a Christian wife is not something that can be accomplished over night. Most of us are introduced to the basics from our mothers and grandmothers who taught us how to hem a pair of pants and baste a turkey. Nevertheless, the real teaching comes from God and the Holy Spirit.
"But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him." (1Jn 2:27)
As we become wives, one of the first lessons that God begins to teach us is that you are no longer (in a spiritual sense) considered separate "individuals". God sees you as one. Just as your limbs are an extension of you, after you become married, your spouse becomes an extension of who you are. As a single person, you think for yourself and your decisions and actions apply to and affect you as an individual. However once you marry, your decisions and actions affect your spouse as well as you.
Spiritually speaking, you and your spouse become Siamese twins. Just as Siamese twins in their natural form have to consider their other half, we as married couples must do the same in our union. We have to envision ourselves with two heads, but one set of arms and legs. We have to live as if we share one heart. Therefore when we do things, we have to think in a sense that it will affect our spouse just as it would affect us.
"And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. (Gen 2:23)
When Eve was presented to Adam in the garden, Adam then declared that Eve was bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh. Although you still have your own individual mind and bodies, you now are to think and operate as one.
Cleave (Proskollao,) 'shall be cemented to his wife,' as the Hebrew davak implies; a beautiful metaphor, forcibly intimating that nothing but death can separate them. (http://bible.cc/matthew/19-5.htm)
Unfortunately many married couples today settle for "just being married". However, there is more to a successful Christian marriage than just the ability to stay together for a long time. Many couples manage to stay married, but they frequently live in chaos and negatively charged atmospheres; not allowing God in truth to intervene and show us how to bring harmony to our marriage. Those unions often lack true harmony, understanding, respect, compassion and sometimes passion.
Many people refrain from getting married because they feel as if they don't want to be tied down to just one person. Some feel that they don't want to have to answer to another individual. They don't believe that being married is something that can bring them real joy. The state of a cleaved union does not mean that there will not be disagreements, attitudes and the days will always be filled with fun and sun. Allowing God to take marriages into a cleaved state provides a consensus to live in matrimonial bliss.
While Ephesians 5 gives us the recipe for a happy healthy marriage, I have listed a few choice scriptures to guide you:
21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the a husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Think about your marriage and what things you wish could enhance it.
Taking into account how long you've been married, do you feel as if you are truly "one" with your spouse?
If yes, why?
If no, why?
Father, in the name of your son and our savior Jesus Christ, I ask that you open the heart to those that are following this study. Bring us to the understanding that the blood covenant of marriage that you ordained is not stronghold or a form of punishment, but it was created to bring you glory.
1 John 2:27