by Olusegun Mokuolu



As Christians we battle all forms of temptations and circumstance. Some physical, some spiritual, some material and some emotional. I have not heard of anyone going for emotional deliverance. Yet a lot of Christians suffers from what I call emotional bondage. It cuts across every group of people on the face of the earth. And so permit me to share a little story of a friend before I go ahead.
“It was in the year 2005, during my National Service Year. Before this time, the Lord had greatly helped me to keep my heart intact and undivided. I was sharing apartment with two other female graduates. I lived in a room with a male graduate and the other two females shared another room.”
“In the beginning everything seems ok and we were doing great serving our great country. Until when I fell “in love” with one of the female graduates. It was serious. I could not do anything than think about her. Because of my background, I was not experienced in the matter of love. I did not understand what was happening to me. For most of the day my body temperature increased and my heart was always beating faster. Could this be love? No one to turn to except the Bible. I read and searched the scripture to find out what was happening to me.”
“I was hoping to find a similar situation in the bible. But nothing was coming forth until I forced myself to tell this lady how I was feeling about her. She was cool with it. Initially, I felt a great relieve and I thought may be God was the one putting the feelings in my heart. That relieve was short lived. I soon find myself thinking about her and could hardly sleep. I became unnecessarily kind to her. I was going out of my way to do things for her and please her.”
“But deep within my heart, I knew something was wrong but could not explain why. I was seriously praying about it. Then one night, I was woken from sleep. I picked my bible and the Holy Spirit started ministering to me. In an instant my eyes opened and all the “love” disappeared. I became normal in weeks. I wonder why I had been thinking about her. I had regained my mind. I went to her again to tell her how I now feel. I had to do that to avoid any expectations. I needed to clear the air. The Lord finally set me free from the emotional trap.”
Now let me share with you just one of the things I learned from that experience. Let’s read a scripture.
David's son Absalom had a beautiful unmarried sister named Tamar. Amnon, another of David's sons, fell in love with her. He was so much in love with her that he became sick, because it seemed impossible for him to have her; as a virgin, she was kept from meeting men. (2 Samuel 13:1-2 GNB)
This is a very familiar story in the scripture and I am sure you know how it ended. Have always wondered why the bible would say Amnon ‘was so much in love with her’. Ordinarily speaking, that sounds like a good thing but the way the story ended shows the contrary. One of the early sign of that was that he “became sick”. What sort of love is that? What sort of love would make someone sick? This cannot be true love! He could not do anything. He was literarily out of his mind.
He spent the whole day thinking about her and day dreaming of her. Bur he was just in an emotional bondage with the undertone of lust. That eventually led to his destruction if you read the rest of the story.
Examples abound around us of how several decisions have been made because of emotional bondage. Good Christian sisters have ended up marrying an ungodly man because they could not break away from the yoke of emotional labour. They may see all the signs that the man is probably not a Godly person but nonetheless go ahead. Some have even been unequally yoked with unbeliever because of this. Several relationships have been compromised on the altar of sin because of this.
Men have gone ahead to kill their spouse and children because they became emotionally entangled with another lady. Marriages have collapse for this same reason. Men have moved out of the house to live with another strange woman at the detriments of their marriage. Sisters who have kept themselves for so long have compromised their purity because they could not ‘risk’ loosing the man they are emotionally entangled with.
Time and space would not afford me to expand on the destructive nature of emotional bondage. Suffice to say that it’s a serious issue in the world and in the Church. Preachers preach against fornication not knowing that behind most of those is the problem of emotional entanglement.
Many times we underestimate the power of our emotions and feelings. This is not in any way to say that falling in love is wrong. But often there is a thin line that we may easily go overboard. True love is patient, it is reasonable, it’s kind, it’s rational, it’s truthful, it’s honest and above all it’s from the Lord. God is love. We must know God before we can truly love. Any idiot can ‘fall in love’, but it takes the grace of God for a man to truly love.
My experience has taught me that Jesus can set free from emotional bondage if we will only look up to him. He cares about every issue of our lives. If you have this problem, you can call on the name of Jesus today. And you will experience the grace of the Lord.
Finally, “Guard your heart more than anything else, because the source of your life flows from it.” (Proverbs 4:23 GW)


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Dec 28, 2019
What I needed to hear. NEW
by: Anonymous

I was recently seeing a woman and found myself dwelling on her and overlooking signs that she may not be the Godly woman she presented herself to be. I got away from her but I did obsess over her. I learned an important lesson.

Dec 01, 2014
Emotionally Touched NEW
by: Broken Hearted

Thank you brother for this wonderful message. It ha truly touched my heart. I will pass this to others I know are hurting like myself.
God bless you.

Sep 22, 2014
Emotional Trap NEW
by: Daniel Hayes

I can add from the Song of Solomon verse 2:7. "Not to waken love until it pleases. I have often wondered why this hasn't been taught more in Youth, Singles, and Married Bible groups. I do understand that in order to love is to know God because He is love according to 1st John 4:8. This is the starting point that God loves us, and He longs for us to love Him. However, we (the church) doesn't seem to go further than that. The church doesn't seem too concerned with going beyond that. Then Christians instead of reaching out over the table men teaching boys how to love a girl, and women how to love a boy. Treat it as making a list of things that must happen before dating which is "I'm Sorry, but LEGALISM". Fathers in turn tell boys 1. I hate you for starters. We all laugh, but it's no joke. Because we refuse to teach the younger generation how to love they're doing it themselves, and with disastrous results. Relationships God has decreed in His Word is twisted, and manipulated to where God is not in the equation anymore

Oct 30, 2011
It's only a trap when WE try to do it ourself
by: InHIM

I could write a list of love affairs, some good, some not so good and then I experienced the Love that was given to me witohut any work on my part. An affair that turned into a marriage and still to this day, Kimberly is the second greatest gift God has given to me; Eternal Life being the best. Both of us were previously married and divorced. After my divorce I had no intentions on ever being married again. My divorce is partially to blame why the Bible, my religion, God and everything I knew of Him was put in the closet, the door was shut with no intention of ever opening the door again. Over the years I've learned God has nothing to do with religion (that's a lesson all in itself). Obviously I am a couple of decades older than you. However, I don't see age as anything more than experience. Jesus gave me a gift and through my Faith in Him, this gift grew stronger. Every day it gets stronger and stronger. We, mankind, must seek Him to fulfill all of our desires and dreams. We must put our Faith and Trust in Him and allow our lives to be lived with Him in it. It is when "WE" try for ourselves that we get into trouble.
InHIM ><)))o>

Aug 16, 2011
by: Carolina Girl

Boz, you have no right to determine who I should be with or to be judgmental of my shortcomings. I too was a victim of child molestation and rape. My stepfather molested me starting at nine years old. By the time I was fourteen I was having his baby. Every since that happened I have struggled with relationships and friendships. Neither had ever come easy for me. That's why when I found a good friend like him I didn't want to let go. This guy came into my life as a friend and had always been cordial and kind. I chose to love him. I chose to let myself go. I was the one who fell apart when things didn’t go as I wanted. I may have “obsessed” over him, but it is because I was looking for something and he made me feel that I had found it in him. When I met this guy things were quite different for us. He WAS interested. He WAS into me. We enjoyed each other's company to the fullest. It is when I got to know him even more and some of his darkest moments in life began to surface that I realize this man isn't ready for a relationship with me. He was broken and struggling to be restored. By then I was in love. Anyone that has been in love knows that love is not something you turn on and off like a water faucet. While he showed a strong interest in me, he was still fighting his own battles. Every time something would happen he would retrieve into his box and hide. After a while things fell apart. I continued to hold on, hoping things would get better, but he gave up. He decided while he really cared for me and wanted to be there for me, he wasn't able to love anyone any more. He just didn't have it in him. So it wasn't a matter of him NOT being interested. It is simply the fact that he had his issues too. We were two broken people trying to make a love connection, but things weren’t really connecting as we wanted. I realized this entire thing was well over my head and it was taking a toll on me. I didn’t want to lose his friendship, but I didn’t want to hang on to the feelings I had for him either. That is when I turned to prayer and writing in my journal. Despite our difference in emotions, we were each other's support system. We mutually expressed a need to have each other in our life. That is the glue that has held our friendship together. He could have dumped me on my behind and forgot about me and vice versa, but yet we are still here for each other. I don't have any regrets in choosing to be his friend, despite my having to put my emotions in check at one time. You say some people don't know when enough is enough. I assume you were referring to me. Well to put it simply, I haven't had enough of him yet. We have been through some tough times and yet our friendship is stronger. I don’t know what the future holds, but I do believe our friendship will stand a lot of tests because we are genuinely interested in each other and deeply respect each other. I truly believe that with God's help we will be friends for a while, hopefully a lifetime.

Aug 12, 2011
You nailed it...
by: Boz

I'm not going to go into my past too much
other than to say, I was molested at 4 years old
by a male, lived the homosexual lifestyle & now am at a x-gay ministry as a disciple of God.

The pattern of "idol attraction" or "obsessive love" was common for me throughout homosexuality.
I believe either way is not of God. We know homosexuality is NOT.

I think one opens themselves to this 'human worship" and a Spirit is welcomed in to help you worship eventually.

But, the way you described it in an obsessive was or pattern to the point that one thinks of the person rather than God - is likened to going out on a lake with thin ice!!! It's very dangerous - even for straight people - romans 1-2

If you start worshipping the created rather than the creator - God will turn you over to the same sex.

I had a girlfriend for 1 1/2 years then got "infaturated" with a few males --> then
eventually I fell for it.

If God isn't on your mind - morning & night
& your All & All - watch out!

If you don't hate your mother & father compared to ME your cannot be mine - scripture

Personally, I read that story about the woman who obsessed over that man & is still a friend with him - I believe she has no right - being around him having to checkmate her emotions everytime - He's made it clear he's NOT interested!

She would be better off going out with females or groups or single themes at churches... sometimes we don't know when enough is enough!

I guard my heart, my eye gate & my ear gate.
TV has 14,000 scenes&ref.'s sexual content/year.
lust eyes/flesh/pride will pass away

I'm not perfect - but I am about my thoughts.
For the sake of my eternal life!

Jul 18, 2011
Thank you.
by: Carolina Girl

Thanks for sharing with me and many others. I had to ask God for emotional deliverance. I met a wonderful man. We spent time together, but I all too soon found myself head over heel in love with him. I could tell that he "cared" about me, but felt nothing remotely close to what I had begun to feel for him. He had had a rough time in life, especially emotionally. When I told him how I felt about him, I could tell it was not anything he wanted to hear, though he said nothing and continued to be very kind and gentle towards me. A few months later we were having a deep conversation and he began to express himself. He ended up becoming very emotional and made it clear to me in the kindest way possible, that he wasn?t on the same page as I am. That hurt so much. I cried all the way home and I cried myself to sleep that night. Little did I know that that particular night was a pivotal moment for me. For the next few weeks I had a hard time accepting what he had said. We continued to spend time together and I continued to think of him as my significant other. He was the last thing I thought of before I went to sleep and the first thing I thought of when I awakened in the morning. As time went on I noticed he began to put more and more space between us. I had a hard time dealing with that, but the statement he made that night reminded me of the fact that we were not on the same page and that explained his ways. I was being hurt more and more. I knew he was not doing it purposely. It was his defense mechanism at work trying to prevent more heartache for him. At the same time, my heart was being broken over and over again. I got to the point in which I cried out to God. I shouted at the top of my lungs, ?God you gotta help me!! Don?t leave me to hurt like this anymore.? At that moment, I was able to talk to Him and tell Him all that was on my mind and heart. I told him how much I love this guy?and why. I confessed my wrong, in that God had given me all kinds of signs that this man wasn?t ready for a relationship. I knew it, but yet, I couldn?t let go. I repented for being disobedient. Often time I try to do things myself instead of totally trusting Him. From that point on I kept a journal. I would write in it every day. It was a prayer journal. Anything that was on my heart I wrote in that journal. While doing so, I prayed for emotional deliverance. I would write in the journal, cry and listen to praise and worship music. I would do those things on most days. I prayed every day, not just for myself, but for this man also. As time went on I was able to write without crying. I was able to think of other things throughout the days and I no longer cried myself to sleep at night. Through it all, we continue to be friends. My feelings for him hasn't changed. I just have better control of them. I praise God for delivering me.

Jun 01, 2011
by: Rita

Hei Olusegun Mokuolu, after read your sharing l really feel blessed. thanked for sharing.- rita

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