My Journey

by Dwight Tackett
(Yukon, Ok, USA)

Oh, that my soul can find the peace spoken of.
Where are you
I have searched and have not found
I have knocked and it has not opened
I have asked and not been given

Though I feel lost I am found
I search but for the wrong thing
I knock but at the wrong door
I ask but it is the wrong question

When will I learn?
My soul cries out
And the flesh answers.
Where art thou my Lord?

The bride is dirty
And cannot clean herself
Her eyes see but the dirt remains
She washes but cannot see the dirt

She strives to be clean
And the dirt smears
I am in pain
I cannot move

I can feel the change
And cannot see it
The light it illumes me
Yet I am in darkness

I cannot lead
I cannot follow
I can feel the power
Yet I cannot touch it

Where are you
Where am I
I am lost yet I am found
I am clean yet I am not whole

Close yet far
I can feel the edge
But can not see it
I walk the line yet I run from it

When I see the truth
I bask in it
When I see the truth
I run from it

I am torn
Yet I can be made whole
I am lame
Yet will I walk

I know what to do
Yet I cannot do it
I know not where to go
Yet I am lead there

Show me the way
That my soul might know peace
Show me the way
That I might die

Life is sacrifice
Christ is life
I cannot make it
Yet it is already made

I can feel the deep
Yet I cannot find it
I want to dive
I run out of breath

The strength I have
I built in me
The strength I need
Is given me

I must prepare
I must atone
The essence of the soul
The bone of the flesh

The Son of God
The rib of his body
The Gentiles
The children of Israel

The Moon and the Ghost
The Sun and the Son
Heaven and the Garden
Earth and the Flesh

I cry through the day
I weep through the night
My people are starving
My people are full to bursting

I love myself
I love my brother
My family I cherish
Our family we hold

This proving ground I abhor
Was my flesh always my flesh?
The battle I think
Is the battle indeed

I walk on two paths
I see but one
The right and the left
My strong and my weak

I love the Grace
I hate the chance
My mind is my weakness
Through my eyes I must seek

The things that were given
The things that we hold
We hold in the left
We have cast the right

Where we walk no man can
For us to walk we must be dead
I yearn to sleep
I ache to wake

The past is the present
The future has come and gone
What I see, he saw
What I am yet to see is already done

The plan is not my plan
It is my choice
No matter what I chose
It is still my plan

The more I gain
The more I have lost
The more I have lost
The more I have yet to lose

What I gain is already mine
What is mine I can give
But I cannot take

When I give it grows
When I hold it dies
I want to win others
I want to win myself

The more I reach for others
The further I fall
The more I reach for him
The more others I find

Not how many
How well fed
Not how big
How strong

The more I learn
The more ignorant I am
The more I seek wisdom through man
The more I find it

Destruction is not far
Redemption is not far
I see two paths
Yet I walk only one

I run from the edge
Yet I am drawn to it.
I run from the edge
Yet I am lead to it

I want to grow
I am scared to grow
I am wrapped in the earth
Yet must I break through to light

I have been shown the path
The path requires searching
I must be buried
If I am to live

I have felt the breath
I long to breath
I have felt the water
I long to bathe

The Lord is the shepherd
All others are to feed
What bread is there that doesn’t end
What bread is there that grows as it is given

If I touch do I feel?
If I pray do I hear?
If I fast do I hunger?
If I burn do I learn?

Oh Father where art though
I am so close
How far am I?

Forgive me my iniquities
Turn not from your bride
We need to find you
Your bride longs for your embrace
Shake us and make us new
Father I ask
Sift the chafe and make us strong
We are in the mist of Idolatries and cannot see.
I am sorry
Please let your mercy flow
Keep your hand stretched out
That we might take hold
It is dark and we need to see
Our eyes are dark
How dark is it
Show us your true path
Bring forth those who can see
We are blind yet we try and lead
My soul screams out for you to forgive me.
My soul feels you, yet there is something in the way
It is me
Teach me oh Lord, to pray
Teach me oh Lord, to love
Teach me oh Lord, to seek you first
Teach me oh Lord!

I surrender, Teach me how