Your sister in Christ !
I have soooo many issues too and I feel a connection to you somehow! I have to go back home to Jamaica next week and due to the fact that I am plagued with social anxiety and paranoia,I dread the day.
I was on my knees this morning,telling God how hopeless,empty and fearful I feel and was wondering what to do. It seems like even though I WANT and NEED to please Him, by speaking words of faith and to be a praiser, ooooohhhh how I long to be praiser, I keep thinking, saying and doing the wrong thing.
I even bought a phone card and called my doctor(Psychiatrist)to make an appointment to see him next Monday. Even though,the medications give me terrible side-effects, I thought to myself, "after the side effects have worn off then I won't sin so much by thinking negative thoughts."
On searching for topics on the Holy Spirit on google,I saw your site and hope and pray that my search for assistance, friendship, accountability and spiritual growth has finally ended here and that I will be the strong woman of God,He created me to be,for such a time as this!
God bless you Ameerah and I can't wait to hear from you,sister.