Second Virginity

by Anonymous
(Colfax, California)

If one engages in pre-marital relations(short of intercourse)with a woman; can that couple stay together and be given a "second chance" at a Godly relationship if they condemn their sins and repent with a sincere heart? Can God drive out the pornographic images that they have of each other, and allow them to have some sense of spiritual second virginity? Or are they condemned to have to leave each other because they are always brought back to those places through uncomfortable physical and emotional feelings when they are around each other?

Is that the weight we must carry
for our sins? Is it possible for God to free us of that?

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Yes, we can start over
by: Ameerah

We can definitely start our relationships over even if we have gone outside of God's will. It will not be easy by any means, but it is definitely possible.

My husband and I were in a similar situation because we were not Christians when we started dating. In fact, we dated for two years before we came to know the Lord and then for 2 more years after that before we were married. But God was able to restore us and our relationship.

We have to remember that sin is sin. Regardless of what kind of sin it is, once you confess it and turn from it, it no longer has power over you unless you allow it to have power over you. Satan wants us to beat ourselves up over our slips and mistakes, but Jesus died so that we could start over after any mistake that we make.

Something that may help is to restrict your dating situations for a while. If you have stopped really going on dates, this is the perfect time to start back. (Dating is a habit that you will want to carry on into your marriage as well). Only do things that are out in public and that are fun and interactive. This will help to keep your mind off of sex while you are together. Get back to getting to know the other person and focus your energies in that area.

Also, if the mental images become an issue pray and ask God to take them away. Realize that it may not happen overnight. Also, realize that Satan knows what you did and he wants you to do it again. So, consider the images as a spiritual attack because, in all reality, they are. Resist them. If you get one, rebuke it in the name of Jesus and say "We have recommitted ourselves to living for God, and right now I rebuke the spirit of lust in the name of Jesus Christ!"

Here is a short Bible study on sex before marriage that may also help. But remember not to live in condemnation. Jesus died so that you would not have to walk around feeling dirty and ashamed. If you have a sexual thought, don't get down on yourself, just recognize it for what it is - human weakness that requires the help of the Lord. Then, pray.

I hope that helps.

God Bless!
Ameerah Lewis
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Second Virginity

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