The test of trials Reflection
Ive been secretly mad at God that everything I ever got I had to struggle twice as much than the people around me.
I had to bring up my siblings after the death of my parents. I love my siblings and worked hard to get them through school, introducing them to the Lord until they were able to support themselves.
But I think I have been secretly resentful to God that they've had it easy. Easily found jobs and marriage partners, while I have hardly been able to find a job that is equal to my skill and been waiting for a marriage partner for many years. I felt picked on if that makes any sense.
I have realized that God was holding my hand through out those tough times trying to survive with 4 siblings and he knows the plans he has for me.
Jermiah 29:11.I must not resent small begginings. That during my trials I better stop with the "whys" and more go with the "whats" what can i learn from this, what can I do in preparation for what my father is preparing me for.That I need to stand on the word and remind myself of the bigger picture and most of all TRUST that my father knows best despite what it may look or feel.
I choose to stand on the word and erase these poisonous feelings and bond with my father in trust instead. Spending more time in his word, spending time with him and worshiping him, trusting in him with all my heart.This is the only way that I can come out of this with sweet smelling with no smoke!