Why Do I Not Like The Proverbs 31 Woman?

by Annette Schwab
(Cincinnati, Ohio)

The Proverbs 31 Woman is the standard of the woman we should all admire and want to become. When we look at this chapter of the Bible we can either decide to love this woman or dislike her for setting the standard so high. For many years I did not understand her and what I understood, I disliked. I thought how can anyone be like that today? For instance, I have no desire to seek wool and flax and what would I do with them if I found them? I definitely do not see myself like a merchant's ships and the farthest place I go for food is a couple miles away. Most of the time I do not even do that because my husband does the majority of the grocery shopping. So where does that leave me? For a while I felt hopeless about ever becoming anything close to this woman. It was not until I decided to stop taking these scriptures so literal. I believe the Bible has portions that if taken literal bring confusion. I decided to look at the qualities that are being talked about in this woman. What is the point that is being brought out in these scriptures. Some of the qualities I see is she is a woman of high value but her value is because of her worth in Christ, not because of what she does. Her choices and what she does make her more useful for her household and for the Kingdom but not more valuable.

In Proverbs 31:10-31, I see a woman that is trustworthy. She does good, not evil to her husband. His secrets are safe with her. She does not talk with her friends about her frustrations with her husband or weaknesses she feels he has. She does not talk bad about her husband to those around her. I am not saying we cannot confide in a friend about struggles we might be having with our husband but we should never degrade our husbands to anyone. When talking to others about situations of our marriage we need to find out if we are sharing with someone in order to complain and vent or are are sharing with someone to gain wisdom to help us solve our own struggles or overcome our personal weakness. If it is only to vent and complain, then it should be avoided because it only leads to destruction rather than building of our family relationship. We should look for ways to build up our husbands and be encouraging.

The Proverbs 31 Woman is resourceful, a smart shopper, not afraid of hard work, not lazy. She is giving, caring, and meek. She is a selfless woman who is very patient, kind, and gentle. She is not afraid to show love and affection to her husband and children. She puts her family before her friends and herself. She knows if she takes care of others God will take care of her. This woman knows that the intimate treasures within her are for her husband only and they should not be visible or accessible to the world. An outward practical expression of this is to be a modestly dressed woman with kindness flowing from her lips.

She is not afraid of the future. She is secure in God knowing where her help and strength come from. This woman fully trusts her husband without any doubt and is very submissive to him knowing he means no harm to her. In return, her husband believes the same about her. The Proverbs 31 Woman is a role model for women and definitely a woman I want to become. She is not a weak woman. She is very strong woman but knows her strength comes not from herself, but the Lord.

Is there something about this woman that is appealing, something you would like to become? Ask God to show you steps to become more like this woman.

Proverbs 31-10-31 New International Version

10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.

11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.

12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.

13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.

14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.

15 She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.

16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.

18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.

19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.

21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.

26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:

29 "Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

31 Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.



Prayer

Lord Jesus, please forgive of me for not acting as the woman you want me to be. Thank you for giving me the example of the Proverbs 31 Woman. Help me not be intimidated by her but help me be willing to become more like her. Thanks for your love and your help to become the woman I am suppose to be. Amen.