Why Do I Not Like The Proverbs 31 Woman? c2-head***

Why Do I Not Like The Proverbs 31 Woman?

by Annette Schwab
(Cincinnati, Ohio)

The Proverbs 31 Woman is the standard of the woman we should all admire and want to become. When we look at this chapter of the Bible we can either decide to love this woman or dislike her for setting the standard so high. For many years I did not understand her and what I understood, I disliked. I thought how can anyone be like that today? For instance, I have no desire to seek wool and flax and what would I do with them if I found them? I definitely do not see myself like a merchant's ships and the farthest place I go for food is a couple miles away. Most of the time I do not even do that because my husband does the majority of the grocery shopping. So where does that leave me? For a while I felt hopeless about ever becoming anything close to this woman. It was not until I decided to stop taking these scriptures so literal. I believe the Bible has portions that if taken literal bring confusion. I decided to look at the qualities that are being talked about in this woman. What is the point that is being brought out in these scriptures. Some of the qualities I see is she is a woman of high value but her value is because of her worth in Christ, not because of what she does. Her choices and what she does make her more useful for her household and for the Kingdom but not more valuable.

In Proverbs 31:10-31, I see a woman that is trustworthy. She does good, not evil to her husband. His secrets are safe with her. She does not talk with her friends about her frustrations with her husband or weaknesses she feels he has. She does not talk bad about her husband to those around her. I am not saying we cannot confide in a friend about struggles we might be having with our husband but we should never degrade our husbands to anyone. When talking to others about situations of our marriage we need to find out if we are sharing with someone in order to complain and vent or are are sharing with someone to gain wisdom to help us solve our own struggles or overcome our personal weakness. If it is only to vent and complain, then it should be avoided because it only leads to destruction rather than building of our family relationship. We should look for ways to build up our husbands and be encouraging.

The Proverbs 31 Woman is resourceful, a smart shopper, not afraid of hard work, not lazy. She is giving, caring, and meek. She is a selfless woman who is very patient, kind, and gentle. She is not afraid to show love and affection to her husband and children. She puts her family before her friends and herself. She knows if she takes care of others God will take care of her. This woman knows that the intimate treasures within her are for her husband only and they should not be visible or accessible to the world. An outward practical expression of this is to be a modestly dressed woman with kindness flowing from her lips.

She is not afraid of the future. She is secure in God knowing where her help and strength come from. This woman fully trusts her husband without any doubt and is very submissive to him knowing he means no harm to her. In return, her husband believes the same about her. The Proverbs 31 Woman is a role model for women and definitely a woman I want to become. She is not a weak woman. She is very strong woman but knows her strength comes not from herself, but the Lord.

Is there something about this woman that is appealing, something you would like to become? Ask God to show you steps to become more like this woman.

Proverbs 31-10-31 New International Version

10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.

11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.

12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.

13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.

14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.

15 She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.

16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.

18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.

19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.

21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.

26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:

29 "Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

31 Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.


Lord Jesus, please forgive of me for not acting as the woman you want me to be. Thank you for giving me the example of the Proverbs 31 Woman. Help me not be intimidated by her but help me be willing to become more like her. Thanks for your love and your help to become the woman I am suppose to be. Amen.

Comments for Why Do I Not Like The Proverbs 31 Woman?

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Wow, God is GREAT NEW
by: Anonymous

I am sitting here pondering and wondering. God is so good. I have been on the search for resources that can guide me and help me to be a better mother, wife, earthly daughter to my earthly parents and most importantly to God. It is such a different story when I look at the ways in which the world wNts us to be as females with our different roles. God has put His word in our reach so that we can be like Him. I am so happy for this ministry.
For awhile I have been looking for a simple breakdown and study of proverbs 31. You have opened avenues for me and have blessed my heart. I truly want to be like this amazing role model especially since at present there is no one I can turn to for guidance in this way (we have recently moved and are far away from close family). Unfortunately the main women in my life do not agree with the virtues of this woman.
God is good because He has brought me to you and I thank you again. Blessings for this ministry and keep on leading women and others to Christ!

God and his perfect timing.. P31
by: Vanessa

I am one of the many women who have accepted Christ.. or thought we did.. then truly full heartedly again recently.. Before i was always looking at my husband wrong.. God does everything for a reason and he has perfect timing. 6 months ago my husband and I Put God in the driver seat. From that point on.. God has been helping me improve. In ways i never knew before. Praise God i see my husband in a differ light. Recently i have been wanting to stay studying the bible again,.. to get into his word but didn't know where to start. I found my starting point. I wasn't even making time before and was making excuses.. now i have none. my husband leaves real early for work.. I throw in a load of laundry and pray and jump right into a study now. yesterday i ran upon a site that talks about P31 and i found it so amazing.. i emailed to a bunch of ladys to site and I even copied the whole p 31:10-31. It touched my heart and soul. This a.m. i got online to see where that page was in my favorites and i stumbled upon this page. I fell in love with the scripture even more. Thank you for this article. It helped even more. To be a woman, wife and mother is one thing but to be those things in Christ is another. and in todays society.. We must remember God didn't create the world in one day but in six. he rested on the seventh. He knows all things take time. Praise God.. i want to be more like P31 Everyday. Thankyou again for this and Praise for for me finding it. He knew what i needed. He knows what we all need and when we need.

I Can See..
by: KD

I can see why it would sound as though this is impossible, but I learned long ago that the words change over time, but the point behind them do not. In the days this was translated to English these were common occurrences. Now, however, going a long distance for food isn't the point. The point of that one is that the woman is willing to go get the food, even if the man usually does it. The idea is that the woman is to be hardworking, God fearing, and willing to do all she can for those she loves. This is not as often seen today, but that does not mean it doesn't happen. It just means it isn't as easily noticed.

For our Benefit Also...
by: A. Davis

I think one thing we sometimes forget when reading scripture on how we are to be is that there is a benefit for us as well. By trying to model ourselves after the Proverbs 31 woman, not only are we trying to be more Christ-like and obedient, but we are turning our frustrations and complaints over to God. By doing this we show faith that he will handle those trials in our relationships with our husbands. This takes the stress, anger, bitterness, etc., off our shoulders and out of our focus. Working to be more of a Proverbs 31 woman is not just for the benefit of the Lord, but his instructions always are a blessing and a benefit for ourselves as well.

Restore me Lord !!
by: Anonymous

Wow this really struck me on two levels. First of all it really put me in check about complaining about my husband. I tend to find myself complaining about him to my mom and to my best friend. This made me think, how would I feel if I knew he was talking to his family or friends about me. It would not only upset me but make me very mad. Today I am making a commitment to stop complaining about him.
The other part that really struck me was about the virtues of this woman. See, my past was a very rocky road paved with imorality. During those years being kind, gentle, meek, and submissitive were completly gone from my life. Even though its been over 10 years since I (only with the help of God) have turned my life around I still struggle with these important virtues. Satan stole those from me years ago but I have resently started praying for God to restore me to the woman He intended me to be. Its amazing how He is doing this. I have met a wonderful strong Chirstian friend. I see the woman in Prov. in her. She is by example teaching me to be meak, gentle, kind, submissive..and many other things. She dosnt even realize this Im sure. She is also teaching me to sew...something I NEVER thought I would do...haha.

God is amazing and I am so blessed to be called His!

Confused and Frustrated
by: Anonymous

So many times I think negative thoughts and I just want to complain to everybody around me! I forget many times how important my role is as a wife. I am not yet a mother, but I know I have a huge role to play as a wife. Many times I find myself lazy, and inconsiderate. I get frustrated because I try to find answers somewhere else instead of inside myself asking God where it all is coming from. I am very thankful I found this Bible study and plan on doing it every night.

god is really helping me
by: jm

I am pretty new to Christianity, and god, but since my partner led me to god, I have found that at every turn he is leading me to the things I need to find, and to learn and each day my faith grows stronger.
After reading this I went through p31 and tried to break it down and work out what each bit meant, in today's society.
And I could not argue with a single word of it, as all of these things really are what women should be, sometimes we forget how much our men really do for us, and being at home all day caring for kids it is to easy to get distracted by other things, and we forget that our partners do not have the option to take a break whenever they please, they have to work and work hard in order to earn a wage.
being at home does not mean we should not be working, we should be keeping the house clean, and making sure that everything is ready for our husbands when they return, because its the little thing that show them how grateful we are for all they do.
I can't change how I have been over night, but I am going to try harder to be more like the p31 woman, step by step, day by day. and will definitely be reading p31 on a regular basis, thank you for this lesson I really needed it. :)

by: Melanie

I would really like to be more like The Proverbs Woman but I honestly don't think that I am able to change so drastically after 32 years of being myself. I feel as though I am a fantastic mother and a definite non-slouch as a wife but I am nowhere close to being categorized with her. Is this even attainable in today's society?

by: Melanie

I would really like to be more like The Proverbs Woman but I honestly don't think that I am able to change so drastically after 32 years of being myself. I feel as though I am a fantastic mother and a definite non-slouch as a wife but I am nowhere close to being categorized with her. Is this even attainable in today's society?

She's got it going on!
by: Mariana

Now THAT is sexy! What I read in P31 is just plain and outright what I think all wives and wives to be strive to be, but how difficult in the world of physicalness, in regards to women, and also in a world where women are pushed to their very limits when having to help thier spouses in providing financially for their families. How idle our minds become from gossip of other women who would rather tear you into a thousand pieces than to see you live up to the example of P31's woman. I pray that all women who have read your study lesson on P31 are lifted by Jesus and also that he gives them the strength to finish out the race. I think I am going to make a tshirt that says SEXY:P31...perfect for what I am going through at present!!!!!

Thank you for this sight
by: Sharon

I want to thank you for this sight and this study.. I have been separated from my husband for almost 2 years and last night we met up with each other and he told me that he misses me and still loves me. He stated he wants no other and I feel the same. Neither of us have dated or seen anyone else over these past two years because of the heart pull for each other. I do not want to walk back into this marriage without walking with God. I have made mistakes (so has he but I must attone for my own) in this marriage and I do not want to be apart from my husband again. Most of my problem in this marriage was trying to do everything my way without consideration of him. I was so used to doing for myself that I forgot I had God and he sent me a help mate and I to him. I want to be like this woman in Proverbs. I am seeking the Lord in this matter and I want to be a blessing to my husband and my family.

God Knows...
by: MzAri

God knows that this scripture is just what I needed at just this time. A Christian woman living in such a "common" world often leaves you feeling alone and ostracized. As a dear friend said to me, "Mama, keep being a P31. You're the woman every man really wants." He calls Godly women P31's in reference to Proverbs 31. I was feeling a little low when I began reading this again, but I am now reassured that being "uncommon" is whats right. God called me to be a P31 and I am going to be one with Pride!!!

Response to MHEL BRUN-FROM THE Philippines
by: Annette Schwab

Thanks be to God if there be any good in me it is because of him. Feel the freedom to share the article I have written. If it helps anyone thanks be to God. He is so kind to us. Thanks for taking the time to comment.

by: MHEL BRUN-FROM THE Philippines

i would like to say thank you so much for writing this article on Proverbs 31. It has taught me a lot, and for that i would like to ask your permission if i could share it to my fellow ladies at our church by re-posting it in one of my web accounts. thank you!

Proverbs 31
by: Cynta

I would like to thank you for this study. I have been asking God how to be a God fearing wife and mother and I found this website. This woman in this Proverb is a blessed woman and that is what all women of God should desire to be. I will make it one of my goals in my christian walk to be like this woman. It is so easy to want to be like the world, but this woman in this proverbs makes me want to be a christian woman of God. Her outcome outweighs anything of this world. Thanks so much.

by: Anonymous

Although not a babe in Christ,I have just recently come across this .I was told to read Proverbs daily and for awhile I did, and then began to slack. One day I decided to read it backwards and this is what I read.For weeks I can not get it out of my head, and I am at a season of seeking direction, although I tend to ask , hear and not always follow, my heart is filled with sorrow and hope . I want to be like this woman, when I want to just scream I think of her , I want my husband and children to feel blessed to have me, I to spend my husbands money and of late I find this woman coming back to me, and I am thankful for a model to follow ,that is on the straight and narrow. I think if I really read and understand it really is quite simple to be like her. I must let go and let God have his way. We as woman all have a spoken word from God on our lives ,we were built to feel , to care for and to love.We are emotional for a reason, and God would never give us what he did not intend for us to use

Proverbs 31
by: Jessica

I believe this is a struggle all woman in 2010 are facing. It is a struggle in this modern world to be the kind of woman God wants us to be, and not to get caught up " in the ways of the world ".
Many years ago I criticized my husband and spent his hard earned money recklessly. I shopped excessivly and got us into finacial trouble.
Thank God for his Grace! Not only did my husband forgive me but God showed me my wrong ways, forgave me, and is now teaching me how to be the woman he wants me to be.
It is awesome to see other woman teaching and seeking these lessons.

Proverbs 31 Woman?
by: Pat

Hello Annette
I'm glad you made this clear and plain! For so many women get confused trying to live like the proverbs 31 woman and I hope many find your comment,for God does not want us beating ourselves up or putting ourselves down.For we are all important to him with our short comings and all,we are greatly loved by God. I truly enjoyed the read!
Love in Christ Pat Thacker 3-9-10

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